Shameless Obituary

It’s rather weird the way different people deal with death, especially when they see it happen in front of them for the very first time. I guess how one reacts to it or deals with it, depends on various factors, such as:
Who just died- someone close, your pet, a stranger etc
Manner of death
Circumstances under which the death took place
Other incidents taking place in the life of the person who has just viewed the death.
Pre-set notions of what death is –ugly, peaceful, frightening etc.

How did this blog come about? Well, it’s just that my fish named ‘Shameless’ died yesterday, in front of my very own eyes and I could just sit there and cry, knowing that I couldn’t help in anyway. He was a good fish. I got him on Valentines Day, 2006 along with Nameless. Shameless spent his days bullying Nameless and zipping round the bowl. He was kind of short tempered at times and liked picking up fights with the plastic foliage around him in the bowl.

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Shameless... I'll miss the little finny fella :( (Feb 14th to May 7th 2006)

I still don’t know what killed him. Was it over eating or did he just down something that may have inadvertently been floating in the water? Was I to blame? I take pretty good care of them. I regularly clean their bowl thoroughly, feed them, sometimes even play music for them (no heavy metal and bollywood numbers). Then WHY did Shameless die? I knew something was wrong when he didn’t eat Nameless’ grub in the morning. I knew something was REALLY wrong when he even let Nameless eat his bit of floating fish food. While I cleaned their bowl I watched Shameless lie listlessly at the bottom of their make-shift bowl. My heart ached to see the once-unstoppable fish, just lie there flapping his pectorals (refer diagram below).



1. Preoperculum, preopercle
2. Operculum (gill cover)
3. Nape
4. Breast
5. Lateral line
6. Caudal peduncle (region anterior to caudal fin)


I took pride in the fact that my fish were so healthy. It was the first time I had had fish and I was very careful about everything. Had I gotten over indulgent and fed them too much? Or was it just meant to be.

Nameless and Shameless - Happier times

There were hopeful moments throughout Sunday. When I transferred them back to their clean bowl Shameless tried to take Nameless’ trip for a while and they both ripped through the water dodging the shells and the plants. But I was sure something was terribly wrong by Sunday evening and I didn’t really know what to do. I prayed I was over reacting which is usually the case. There was a time when Nameless was acting funny and wasn’t eating. But within a few days he bounced right back and was actually attempting to kick Shameless’ a** {or should I say tail fin? maybe Caudal (refer diagram above)}

Well, the end came at around 9:30 P.M IST, Sunday, May 7th, 2006. I had just finished speaking to Drew when I noticed Shameless was lying on his side and twitching violently. I frantically dialed Drew’s number and to my surprise started crying. I felt so helpless. Shameless made one last dash to the surface and then slowly floated to the bottom. He twitched a little (according to Chandra it was a fishy sign of cardiac arrest) for one last time close to 9:40 P.M and lay very still after that. I still didn’t know what to do. Nameless swam around him twice and even nudged him a little. Call me crazy but it was pretty sad. I left the little fishy body in the bowl for quite awhile before taking it out in some insane hope that Shameless would decide to get up and start shimmying up and down the bowl, the way he always did when he saw me approach the bowl.

After watching Desperate Housewives, I took Shameless out of the bowl. I didn’t want to touch him for some crazy reason. Maybe I was scared. Of what? I don’t know. But I didn’t want to touch the little fella. I took him out using a card board piece. It was freaky when he floated a little as I lowered the cardboard into the water. For a moment I thought he had arisen from the dead.
I finally realized that this was it. He was gone, forever, hopefully to Fishy Paradise. I buried him in the garden and Mom put a little orchid on it. By now you must be screaming “It’s a bloody fish!” Actually it is defined as follows:

"If we allow room for these and other exceptions, we can define a fish as a poikilothermic*, aquatic chordate with appendages (when present) developed as fins, whose chief respiratory organs are gills and whose body is usually covered with scales." - Berra (2001)

Well, the point of this whole blog was to not only act as a obituary for my beloved fish but also just a way to get out of this weird depressing mood I am in. I know attempting to put a humourous spin to my fish’s obituary isn’t what the doctor prescribes for mood elevation but what the hell!

Gosh…now I get it! What I probably meant to say was that never be too attached to anything or anyone for that matter. You never know when that object or person (or pet fish) might fade away from your life.

The Buddha did not deny that there is happiness in life, but he pointed out it does not last forever.
Eventually everyone meets with some kind of suffering. He said: "There is happiness in life, happiness in friendship, happiness of a family, happiness in a healthy body and mind, ...but when one loses them, there is suffering." Dhammapada

Hmmm…I guess you’ve probably realized by now that it really isn’t only about the fish.

I can feel another blog coming up, regarding ‘attachment’.


*This refers to creatures whose internal temperatures vary, often matching the ambient temperature of the immediate environment (Greek: poikilos = "varied," therm = "heat ").(source – wikipedia)

Together...